Positive Energy

I have a distinct memory of eating at the Burger King in Waxahachie with my mom and older brothers when I was very young.  I remember ordering in the line and seeing the girl behind the counter, and how very happy she was. I don't remember much about the meal, the food could have been lousy, we might have taken the food to go or stayed to eat, I really don't remember much except, the girl behind the counter. There was a young woman waiting on us who smiled constantly.  She laughed with her coworkers, and spoke to us with such ease and warmth. She was having a good time, and seemed to love her job.
As we left, I remember asking my mom how much you have to pay to work at Burger King. She of course was confused. I asked again, how much does it cost to work at Burger King? She went on to explain that they actually pay you to work there, and that's why it's called a job, etc.  I was totally and completely confused.
I had no idea why a place would pay you to come to work when you were having so much fun and felt as happy as that girl behind the counter. I honestly was confused about jobs and work and being paid versus having to pay. I thought it was the most amazing thing that you could have fun and be so happy to be somewhere, and have someone give you money to do it!
I have no clue who the girl was. There is really no telling if she really loved her job as much as it seemed to me that she did. But one thing I can be sure of, I want to be that girl!
I want to love my job so much that it makes people wonder if I'm paying to have fun there or they are paying me. I want to have such a demeanor that inspires other people to love what they do.  I want to find something that I am able to shine in, and not care about a paycheck.
What would happen if we were all actually able to do that? What would happen if we all made conscious decisions to be happy and make the most of our jobs? Would your dream job suddenly appear, sprung from the lack luster dead end position that you currently hold? Would someone see your spirit and hire you to do something you never could have dreamt? Will you find success sooner rather than later?
Maybe that girl, behind the counter at Burger King is still there today.  Maybe she quit the next day.  Maybe she impressed another customer so much they decided to hire her on the spot to work for them. There is really no telling, but even today I have that memory stuck in my head, and I can only hope to have such a positive effect on others.

I get the point!

This afternoon, after a day cooped up inside with three youngsters, I decided to take us all for a ride. We packed up in the car and just took off driving.  My dad and I used to go on these drives, we could ride around for hours and just look at the scenery, talk, listen to music, and never get bored of it.  I took off down our road, FM 55 and just drove....and drove...and drove...  Before too long, two of the three kiddos were asleep, and I was further down our road than I'd ever traveled.  The next road sign I saw was for Avalon. Avalon! I had driven further than I realized! I decided to take a cut off the main road and, in the spirit of my dad, go a little further down a country road we had once traveled. I headed toward Bardwell.
Bardwell is a little nothing town between Avalon and Ennis. There are two policemen, a gas station, grainery, and cemetary.  The cemetary my dad is burried in, actually.  As I came closer, I decided I should go pay him a visit. Afterall, it has been 7 years since he's passed away, and probably 6 years since I've been to visit him.
As I turned into the cemetary, it was almost difficult to remember the exact spot of our family plot.  I had to drive up and down three rows before it came back to me! I felt so horrible!
I got out of the car, and went to go visit my dad.  As I walked up, I started to feel terrible, even more terrible than before. The gravestone had grass grown up around it, and the flowers that had been placed so long ago were falling over and faded.  I felt as if I had let my dad down. I started to cry, and clean.
Bent over in the middle of the cemetary, pulling weeds and scraping mud off of a headstone, I spoke to my dad and let him know how sorry I was for not coming by more often. I let him know all sorts of things, and then as I was tidying up a little more, wiping the dirt and pulling those weeds, ants swarmed all over my feet and hands!!! I was being attacked by ants! They were biting me all over! I started jumping around like a mad woman trying to get the dang things off of me! They had completely covered my dad's side of the headstone! I though to myself.....yeah, I get it! I get the point!!! My dad and all his spit and fire, was letting me know just what he thought. I just started to laugh.
God, I love that man. He might be in heaven, but can still act devilish.

Night Time Prayers

I had a night time ritual when I was young: get changed to pajamas, brush teeth, wash face, get all settled down, lay in my bed and call out "Daddy! I'm ready for my night time prayers!"
My mom couldn't do it. It had to be my dad. It was the same thing every night. He would come into my room, we would say our prayers and then he would give a kiss on my forehead goodnight, and I would make sure he left my door a hand's width open. Little things would vary from night to night, but the one thing that always stayed the same: "Angel of God, my guardian dear, to whom God's love entrusts me here. Ever this night be at my side, to light and guard, to rule and guide. Amen."
Without realizing what I have already started with Marissa, she is much too reliant on many of the same things I was as a child. She HAS to have Mom put her to bed. She HAS to read two books, and sing the same songs every night. she HAS to have her door left open. And soon, I know she will be ensuring we say my childhood prayer each and every night.
I love tradition. It is a powerful thing, and makes me remember so much about my family. I might not have my dad around anymore, but he is still here. Traditions bring back the memory, and allow me to teach Marissa about her grandpa without her even knowing him. I want to continue traditions that were started with my family when I was young, but I want Bill and I to have traditions all our own for our children to pass on to their children.
I haven't made night time prayers a part of our ritual because I want Marissa to understand what we are doing, and add her own prayers on the end.  I used to pray after the recited prayer: "God bless Mommy, and Daddy, and my brothers, and my grandma and grandpa, and mamaw, and Scarecrow (our dog) and ...... and....and..... and..... the list went on and on. My dad always would listen and then say Amen along with me when I would finish up. I want the tradition of night time prayers to continue on with my child(ren).

Bad Mommy

I love my daughter. I love my daughter so much, that I might be just the littlest bit critical of myself as her momma. Most days I feel like she's a pretty basic two year old, and I'm a pretty basic momma, but today was not most days.
Today we were fighting. Today was a battle of wills. Today my two year old was not normal in her activity level, she was freakishly energized. Today I had little to no patience. But, today I did not yell, I did not spank, I did not scold.
I get so aggravated with myself for getting so aggravated with her. I feel like such a bad mommy. Today I promised myself, early in the morning, while I saw my sweet angel still asleep (on my pillow), that I would be patient, kind, loving, calm, and slow to anger. I feel the need to be more understanding of her need to explore and grow and run and be a crazy little two year old! I want to balance the disciplinarian and the fun loving mom sides of myself, and said that today would be my first (re-) attempt at it.
I try so hard! I want to make sure she knows how much Bill and I love her! I want her to have the opportunity to be crazy and have fun, but know how to behave herself as well! I want a balance that seems impossible for a two year old to accomplish.
I feel like there is so much more that goes into parenting than what I am sometimes capable of giving. I want to be super mom. I want the clean house, happy hubby, loving well rounded and well behaved daughter, job I love, friends I can rely on, and enough free time to scrapbook and sew stuff.
I had a picture in my head from when I was little of my mom, she used to sew and cook and clean, pay the bills, teach piano lessons, and more, and she had THREE KIDS!!! Eventually four kids! I felt like I wanted to do what my mom did, but better! I wanted to be able to do everything that she did, but more. I wanted to have my life before kiddos continue on the way it was, and let my kids fit right in.
I feel like I've failed horribly. Days like today make me feel like I am not living up to my standards for myself. Days like today make me wonder why did I think I could do this? Days like today make me feel like a bad mommy.
Tomorrow is another day, however. Tomorrow is the promise of something new. Tomorrow, we will wake up, do it all over again, and hope for the best. Tomorrow I can sluff off the bad mommy of today and hope for more, for better. Each and every day I have to think of the new day, and plan for just that day. I cant let the bad from one day tarnish the pristine slate of the new.
I love my daughter. I love my Rissa-Roo, my Marissa Jeanne-Jelly Bean, my little pooter poo, my girl. I might think I'm a bad mommy sometimes, but she still loves me. Because she still loves me, I will wake up tomorrow and try to be the best mommy that I can be!

Drive Thru Etiquitte for Idiots

The more I work in the drive thru at work, the more I realize that people sometimes might not know the basic etiquette for using it. Either that, or they have a total disregard for it. Whichever the case might be, here's a little reminder!

-When you are greeted at a drive thru, be kind enough to say something back.

-If the person gives you their name, use it!!! People who work in customer service are people! Yes, it might be a shock to you, but we are not robots, drones, or lepers!

-When you pull up to a drive thru, bank or otherwise, please leave your window open. Yes, I realize that we live in Texas and it's hot, and you might not want all the cool air to leak out of your car, but really-it's not going to take too long!

-In order to expedite your visit in a drive thru, please be kind enough to GET OFF THE PHONE! Your phone call might be important, and in this case, please do not enter a drive thru until your urgent, important, life altering phone call is completed.

-Do a favor to the people behind you in line, and the person waiting on you as well, have your shit ready! Don't pull up and ask for a million different things, and then sit and try to figure out what the mess is going on.

-If you don't know how to fill out a form at the bank, or don't know what to order to eat, or don't know how to maneuver your car properly- DO NOT USE A DRIVE THRU!

*I know none of you reading this are in need of this compilation of rules and regulations and basic etiquette for drive thru's....however, if you feel that you might know someone who would benefit from this, please SHARE!!!! Do it as a favor to all of your friends and family who work in customer service.*