Bad Mommy

I love my daughter. I love my daughter so much, that I might be just the littlest bit critical of myself as her momma. Most days I feel like she's a pretty basic two year old, and I'm a pretty basic momma, but today was not most days.
Today we were fighting. Today was a battle of wills. Today my two year old was not normal in her activity level, she was freakishly energized. Today I had little to no patience. But, today I did not yell, I did not spank, I did not scold.
I get so aggravated with myself for getting so aggravated with her. I feel like such a bad mommy. Today I promised myself, early in the morning, while I saw my sweet angel still asleep (on my pillow), that I would be patient, kind, loving, calm, and slow to anger. I feel the need to be more understanding of her need to explore and grow and run and be a crazy little two year old! I want to balance the disciplinarian and the fun loving mom sides of myself, and said that today would be my first (re-) attempt at it.
I try so hard! I want to make sure she knows how much Bill and I love her! I want her to have the opportunity to be crazy and have fun, but know how to behave herself as well! I want a balance that seems impossible for a two year old to accomplish.
I feel like there is so much more that goes into parenting than what I am sometimes capable of giving. I want to be super mom. I want the clean house, happy hubby, loving well rounded and well behaved daughter, job I love, friends I can rely on, and enough free time to scrapbook and sew stuff.
I had a picture in my head from when I was little of my mom, she used to sew and cook and clean, pay the bills, teach piano lessons, and more, and she had THREE KIDS!!! Eventually four kids! I felt like I wanted to do what my mom did, but better! I wanted to be able to do everything that she did, but more. I wanted to have my life before kiddos continue on the way it was, and let my kids fit right in.
I feel like I've failed horribly. Days like today make me feel like I am not living up to my standards for myself. Days like today make me wonder why did I think I could do this? Days like today make me feel like a bad mommy.
Tomorrow is another day, however. Tomorrow is the promise of something new. Tomorrow, we will wake up, do it all over again, and hope for the best. Tomorrow I can sluff off the bad mommy of today and hope for more, for better. Each and every day I have to think of the new day, and plan for just that day. I cant let the bad from one day tarnish the pristine slate of the new.
I love my daughter. I love my Rissa-Roo, my Marissa Jeanne-Jelly Bean, my little pooter poo, my girl. I might think I'm a bad mommy sometimes, but she still loves me. Because she still loves me, I will wake up tomorrow and try to be the best mommy that I can be!